Sta.sh
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Self Harm.Why try to explain something thatSelf Harm. by ~Sydnut
Nobody else will understand?
The only real problem is that
It upsets you.
You see danger in the
Little red cuts,
I see safety.
You see harm,
I see help.
I need to stop,
But sometimes I feel like
A totaled car,
Too damaged to fix.
But just maybe
You don't have to fix me,
If you can still love the broken pieces.
But I don't think you can.
2011The summer of 2011,2011 by ~Sydnut
My parents split,
My Mom moved out, and
I learned that kids weren't the only ones that could be cruel.
In 2012 I tried to piece my life back together with
Elmer’s Glue and Scotch Tape
Only to learn that life wasn't fair when
Anxiety slapped me hard across the face with
One panic attack after another until
I would have welcomed death.
During 2013 I learned that my anxiety was here to stay and that
Some people were just too self-absorbed to care,
So I learned to hide my shaking hands,
And hope to G-d that I didn't
Get sick or faint and that
Every single person in the room
Wasn't really staring at me like
I was a f
RealizationsHow have I been so blind?Realizations by ~Sydnut
They tried to tell me.
Words drifted in one ear,
And out the other.
Old.
Sick.
Dyin--
No.
There has to be something else to try.
More treatments.
More chemo.
More doctors.
She has to fight.
And it's then,
In a realization
Of heart-wrenching sobs,
That I see it.
No more treatments,
No more chemo,
No more doctors,
It's over.
MonsterHe lurks surreptitiously in barely-there shadowsMonster by ~Sydnut
Reveals himself in a pounding heart,
Rushing adrenaline,
And gasping breaths.
He is best friends with Fear,
And they laugh as the fling themselves
Head-first into public speeches,
Roller coaster queues,
And small enclosed spaces.
But the monster is a Sadist.
Greedy,
Patient,
And ruthless.
He forces his way to the spotlight
With all consuming panic,
Trembling limbs,
And sickening waves of nausea.
And so the battle begins
Between the Sadist and myself.
The endless struggle for power,
Control,
And my sanity.
Neutral 
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